Bitter-Sweet 8th Nov 2014 _ #CousinVibes

My wonderful late great grandma was laid to rest on the 27^th of September...

This utmost unfortunate event brought together families from all over
And obviously those in my interest were my generation
Those I had last seen close to 10years ago
Those who seem to have even outgrown me
Those I had no idea I would find myself bonding with and loving every minute of it
Those I had only ever heard of yet had not officially met
Those bubbly holy loving cousins that blame the parents
For our long lost connection J

A lot that has changed over the “10years” was caught up with on that one single day

We reconnected and the family love was rekindled
That one single day we cried together, ate together,
Laughed together and talked for hours together
We enjoyed each other’s company so much so that we suggested a Get-Together
For the 8^th Nov 2014, as “cousins”only, under different circumstances
For the purposes of “Getting to know each other”and “Having a good time” whilst at it
Knowing each other?! We DEFINITELY did, even beyond what we had thought
Having a good time?! So and so, there and there, definitely NOT from start of day till end
I’ll just go on and blame it on the liquor BUT some serious misconduct transpired
And they need to be addressed

I won’t go about and lay down exact details of the incidents here for the world to judge us

And I won’t be any judge of any kind as well; it is neither my place nor character
I will though, be critically opinionated
Especially since this get-together was hosted at MY place of residence
Anyway, before I get to that, the part where most people would probably say “Ke iketsa betere”
Where they’ll probably misinterpret my words on paper and start judging me instead
I will start by addressing my most enjoyed episodes

So we had: One Molebale and Friend; One Legodi and Friend; Two Janis and friend;

One Chaane; One Makhudu and friend; Two Ginindas and friends
This summed up 14 lovely individuals and history makers #LOL
8 beautiful ladies and 6 handsome guys
Cast for epic series of events in 24hours alone
We had a combination of Royal Pains; Vampire Diaries; Wrestling
Including Dr Phil moments as well
It was a night to remember I must say

So the ladies started by the swimming pool

To cool off from the heat of the day
Then later we collected the money contributions
And we all split to do some shopping for the food and drinks
The weather decided to take a turn and rain on us
So no more Braai, instead we had a barrel of 21pieces of KFC
We showed the rain who the bosses were when we started our chill session
...By the shelter with some music, drinks and hubbly.
One thing I just remembered now now is that:
I put on some gospel music and we were preparing for prayer, BUT WE NEVER PRAYED!!
For some reason the music was changed and WE NEVER GOT TO PRAY!!
#This was the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF THE NIGHT

Chaane was terrified of actually getting in the pool

So much so that she remained by the shallow step the entire afternoon
...Until she had 2/3 of her favourite drinks later
Then she was all over the pool and loving every moment
Legodi just loves swimming
And with the lessons from one of Gininda friends, she got better and better at it
Janis (My Boere cuzzies as I normally call them)
They were comfy with “Oom Landlord” showing them the do’s and don’ts in the pool

Legodi’s Friend, a very lovely lady, free spirited and pretty

Makhudu and friend were welcomed whole heartedly that we dedicated the gathering to them
Why? Because no-one believed they would actually make it
Makhudu just has this thing of telling half truths #LOL and not living up to promises
Well I am personally proud that he proved us wrong this time around
Everyone was impressed, big ups man
One Jani couldn’t make it #sad ... but next time he better be there
One Gininda is funny and always complains, he was suggesting we go to other places that evening
After every half an hour he would say he’s leaving #LOL
(he was actually the last person to leave the next day)
He’s just crazy fun in any ways, earned the name“Spoornet”

One Gininda is quiet and was always busy with the hubbly bubbly

He loves the phrases “F#$K THAT SH*T” and “GANGSTER SH*T” #LOL
I’m still crazy about his bucket hat though
One of Gininda friends, the Will Smith look-alike is just super sweet shame
No problems, no stress, just always having fun
All smiles, drinking and dancing all night, and “loving”people
Causing no trouble for anyone, he was the first person to sleep though...**hahaha**

So we had dinner and then around 8pm...

Myself (Molebale), one Jani and friend, took my friend to her workplace
By the way thank you guys for that kind gesture
So now there were 13 of us left
The rain hadn’t stopped, yet Chaane and I decided to go swimming
So we dragged everyone else with us and took the party up to the pool area
It was sooo much fun, it became some kind of unplanned pool party
Everyone was in pool despite some other “situations” and no one even minded #LOL
One of Gininda’s friends, jumped in with his shoes, cap, jeans and t-shirt on #EPIC
After the pool, he spent almost the whole night in my night gown as everything of his was wet
This earned him the names “RraDitlhako (Mr Shoes)”and “Stjwetla”

The night went on all fun and loud

Party was moved to the house, by the bar area. Where the first weird crazy incident happened
Then everyone suddenly changed to being Dr Phil, lol myself included
You know how they say “Alcohol triggers the ‘truth’ muscle in the brain”??
I still wonder if that is indeed so
I mean weird things just come out of a person when they’ve had one too many to drink
I speak this from experience too, you just cannot help it. So I won’t judge
I should suppose this was an opportunity for us to learn
That as cousins we actually really want the best for each other
How we tried to be Oprah’s and Dr Phil’s was kind of cute
How we learned that the next outing “who should NOT be drinking what and why”

All went back to normal, the situation subsided then the party was moved to my room

Jika-Ma-Jika happened yho people can dance
One Jani, Legodi friend and Makhudu friend were dancing like WOW(as in they were NOT getting tired)
But they can’t beat the Chaane dance move
This move was discovered on the 27^thSep, with one of “our” uncles #LOL
Well this time around Chaane was dancing with “Mr Shoes”
Oh and Spoornet CANNOT dance I can testify because I saw the video,
Shame he’s just like me **hahaha**

It slowly got chilled and relaxed and some began to sleep

Legodi and Makhudu friend slept... By this time Will Smith look-alike was Looong gone
Then everyone else chilled for a while until probably 05:00am
We were all settled in our spots very much prepared for sleep...
...when the VampireDiaries began and woke EVERYONE up
This was then followed by Wrestling which then woke the rest of the others in the house
So not impressive, all this was extremely shocking to see happening right out of nowhere

It all felt surreal, felt like I needed to be woken up quick because it wasn’t nice

I need to state this that I was disappointed, hurt, shocked, and angry and confused
It made no sense how all of that just “happened” after such a lovely time we were having
I felt like screaming yet nothing came out
Note To Cousins: This issue still needs to be sorted out, we all deserve an explanation
We cannot just sit and take the apologies for such a huge offense
That was a massive F#$k up, and to this day I’m still upset about it
I do not want to hold grudges, I hate it. But I as the ‘host’ felt really disrespected
And I feel I truly need a One on One session with the Vampire/JohnCena of the day
To get a proper apology and an explanation
The 2 victims (bitten and beaten) also need to understand where all that erupted from
I hope they all well

Although it was made certain that everyone leaves with some kind of smile on their faces

I bet Questions and Confusions were throbbing in their heads...
For now I can safely say “Our Vamp” needs a mini punishment until we get his whole story
The deal is, the next gathering or two, we cannot have Vamp
‘Cousy’ if you will read this, please note that we do NOT hate you,so please don’t make us..
What happened was VERY WRONG and SCARY, DANGEROUS and SHOCKING
Hence I think we all deserve to understand what happened
For starters, my reputation got shattered as the tenant in that place
Second of all, I charge for my tears, so you owe me big time
Lastly, I’m writing this with my room still a mess because I just have no energy to do anything

Before this turns into a bible, I’ll close up by saying to my Spoornet cousins:

I LOVE YOU ALL REGARDLESS ...
I HAD A GOOD TIME REGARDLESS ...
I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN SOON!!!

The 8^th November 2014 was filled with Bitter-Sweet memories

History was made I suppose –We have pictures and videos to prove it.

#ViaSpoornet #CousinVibes #FamilyMatters #LoveNoMatterWhat #SpoornetCousins

#JANI #LEGODI #MOLEBALE #CHAANE #MAKHUDU #GININDA #AndFRIENDS

MY SILENT THERAPY

During the years of my life

...I discovered the one and only way to deal with my emotions of anger.

I finally found the best way to calm myself down and avoid further heartbreak,
To avoid further annoyance,
And avoid making matters worse.
This “magical weapon” of mine is SILENCE.

As much as I’m in love with words,

I do not like voicing them out, I rather prefer jolting them down
... And letting the world inside of me this way.
Once I’m upset and forced to share my thoughts and emotions verbally,
I explode and refuse to hear reason.
It’s like the more I speak about my anger, the more I feel:
Invincible; Selfish; Superior; and just NOT wrong

The more I speak the more the anger boils.

The more the boiled anger, the bad the ink on paper
... The arrogant and hurtful words flow easy and are written with no consideration.
Some kind of hatred for the next person develops out of nowhere,
For the mere fact that this person is forcing me to do something I’m not used to.
Yes it may be out of the goodness of their heart, meaning well and thinking they are helping...
To me, a massive part of me kicks them to my bad books slowly and surely.

I’m not sure how I expect people to react to my silence.

But the one person I know that handles it best is my mother.
She treats my silence with the silence of her own...
We’ve had Mother-Daughter fights a few times,
Where I would just apologised anyways even when I sometimes didn’t mean it;
Where I would get soo mad at her that I wouldn’t speak to her for a few days,
She reflected that right back to me.
Strangely this allowed me time for my soul search;
Time and space to weigh both our viewpoints without being bias,
Eventually I would understand how and why she was right and I was wrong (or vice versa).

With this understanding, I would accept that even if she was right (or wrong sometimes, lol)

She’s human too like I am.
She is one of the people that care about me and so she obviously means well.
For this one fact that she gave me my space and time to corroborate this by myself,
I would love her even more and that “meaningless apology” would turn to be truly meant.
This gave me, ‘once again’ - another opportunity/freedom of choice,
To speak to her with this understanding, calmness and acceptance
...It is with this acceptance that I would make sure the deed is not repeated.
I feel my silence is my best way of respecting the other person,
And I know not of any other better way (I don’t even want to learn any).

If all those close to me would react this very way to this silent “therapy” of mine,

I believe the chances of me hurting others would be lowered,
And there would be less heartache around me.
I know for certain that time is never guaranteed...
But I prefer spending this time finding myself and righting my wrong,
Than worrying and feeling bad about the things I said and did during an emotional ordeal.

I believe things can be changed to either the best or the worst in a fraction of a second.

I also believe that this can easily be due to the word of mouth.
Saying something out of anger and being unable to take it back, ever!
This could change everything,
How it would always hang above one’s head even in the happiest days.
I believe it’s better to wish I had said something, than wishing I had NOT.
Because what I wish I had said, can always be said now,
Better built in better words and certainty of not hurting anyone...
Even if the person is no more, the freedom of no regret for having said something hurtful remains

I know I have said hurtful things to people and have not apologized for it, I’M SORRY.

I know I have written hurtful things that people felt were/are directed to them, I’M SORRY.
If I have done hurtful things to people without being aware of it or apologising for it, I’M SORRY.
Unfortunately I cannot apologise for being me, so this apology is for the things I say, write, and do... when I’m PUSHED OUT of my comfort zone, when I’m pushed to NOT be me.
When cornered and feeling like I have no way out, I lose it.
I lose some tiny bit of my sanity, the little bunch of manners and respect fly out the window.
It’s something I cannot help, and I’m not sure if this falls under what many may call “an excuse”.
But this is me, it’s how I am, and I do not have any better way to be what some may call “better”.

One thing for certain I do NOT enjoy causing pain to another being.

Be it an enemy (if I have any), or a friend...
Let alone an animal for that matter.
So from the bottom of my heart I sincerely apologise for all the pain I have caused.
And I whole heartedly ask to be given my SILENT MOMENTS
– for they are my only drive to Happiness.