LETTER TO MY FUTURE UNBORN CHILD... ANGEL!!!

How I long to hear your sweet cry for the first time. I imagine it will be the sweetest sound I would ever hear. I know it will be the change of my life for the better.

I would spend nights staring at your precious face, thanking God for the greatest blessing. The joyous announcement that your dad and I would make to our family and friends.

As we would become a family of three.

When I would experience the greatest joy of my life.

 

Because of you, I would be a mom. One of the things I hear to be the greatest role in the world.

Because of you, I would know the deepest meaning of love.

Because of you, I would strive to be the best I can be.

Because of you, I would feel complete.

You my daughter will change my life in the absolute best way possible. I read somewhere that having a child is like letting your heart walk around outside of your body… That, I’m still due to witness.

 

It would be amazing to see the changes you will go through over the years of growing. You’ll go from an itsy bitsy tiny baby to a walking and talking one.

From sleeping away the day snuggled in my arms to climbing on me like I’m a jungle gym.

From reaching at objects on your play mat, to learning how to wave good-byes and give high-fives.

From baby coos to babbling then your first words, Papa and Mama.

From being a baby to being considered a toddler (even though you will always and forever be my baby).

I can’t wait for the happy baby you will be, with a smile to light up the room.

The love you will give. From your smiles to your hugs and kisses and best of all the cuddles. I would never get enough of you.

 

I imagine you being FUNNY!

Making crazy noises that would make everyone laugh.

Loving the attention and once you’d have it, definitely keep it.

I imagine you laughing with me and your daddy right at the same moments.

I imagine you well known at the grocery store.

Flirting with everyone in your eye-sight whenever we’d be out for dinner.

Making others smile and bringing them joy.

You are already so special to me, and I am already so proud to call you mine.

 

I have so many hopes and dreams for you in this life. I know that God has a purpose for you and He is going to use you to do amazing things.

I pray you’ll  have the confidence to be who you want to be.

I pray for you the courage to go after your dreams and the determination to not give up.

I pray that you’ll be brave when faced with challenges.

That you have compassion for others and a giving heart. Most of all, I pray that you get the most out of the life you will be blessed with.

 

No matter what, I will always be there for you. I will be there to hold your hand when you need support.

 Lend an ear when you want to talk.

Pick you up when you fall and most of all guide you the best way I can through your beautiful life. The most important thing I want you to know is that you will be loved. So very loved.

 

I already love you to the moon and back my sweet Angel.

 

THIS LOVE...

What kind of love is this?

Love so strong.

Love so strong it expels the mind from the brain.
Emotions that compel the true sanity out an innocent being.
Love that temporarily blinds even the widest eyes, “temporary” being the longest while.

This is Dangerous love!

How does one express such, verbally so... in words alone and nothing more?
How does one show it without being seen as stupid or naive?
This love so clear it needs not more time to understand what it is.
Where it comes from one may never know, but it is here... Right now.
Poisonous is what it is.

Love so Evidently and Psychologically Messy.

Like a dark cloud that hangs over ones’ head and strikes a deafening thunder or blinding lightning every now and then.

Constantly wakes one up from countless sleeps.
Leads an unconscious state to the loveliest paradise if there is such a place.

If none of all these make sense, then I am most certainly poisoned. I’m in danger.

Danger from the choices made by my heart, neglected and ignored at first but eventually lost in its existence.

Love. Love? Love! Sucks but it’s said to be wonderful.

For limited moments it feels amazing, until it locks one up to play victim of a heart in pain.

Restless nights tossing and turning... busy-minded-days trying to figure out how this came about.
Oh no it is never planned. And when one feels this, there’s no turning back.
You become enslaved to your own emotions.
Too proud to put in detail what is felt, this is the rightfully wrong kind of love.

Is there ever a way out? A safe route away from such a trap...

Oh yes, Love is a trap. A DOME of no colour nor sound.

Created without warning.
Attacks with no manual of dealing with it.
No easy way out!

What kind of love is this?

Love so strong.

Love so strong it expels the mind from the brain.
Emotions that compel the true sanity out an innocent being.
Love that temporarily blinds even the widest eyes, “temporary” being the longest while.

This is Dangerous love

The love I find myself muddled in.

Cogitating to find solution only to find confusion...
And migraine, Lol.

Keeping myself intact, thinking I have it under control. LYING TO MYSELF

Arg, This Love though...

When is it ever Enough? DECISIONS DECISION!!!

When does one ever be sure that “it’s enough”? 

The thoughts and the words.

The tasks, Prayers and demands.

The Pain and the Love.

The excitement, anger, and happiness.

The ‘Fun’. The Money… The TIME REALLY!!!

 

It all comes to some kind of end, but is it ever enough? Okay, for that moment it may be enough, but then that means it’s not entirely enough, just ALMOST… and almost doesn’t really count. It’s like something we were created with, the feel that ITS NOT ENOUGH, it ‘could be better’. Is that what we call Greed? Selfishness?

 

Guess one will never know, because whatever definition may be formed for this could end up being added upon, edited, or even debated upon. It just won’t be enough. I think it’s the inability to decide on satisfaction, accept the decision made and stop looking to add it up… it is that inability which makes people change their mind countless times, by this situations are led to being LIES and CHEATS.

 

Not pointing fingers, for I still believe that no flesh-and-blood-men that has ever lived, still lives and will ever live… was, is, and will ever be perfect. That’s just how it is.

 

For the past couple of weeks I had been craving to write and share a little piece of my mind… every single day I would think of great deals of titles to write about, but I never could put it down and together because I thought I should think of something better, that whatever I thought was not good or long enough, or not to the point yet. I would allow sleep to overcome my thinking and made myself believe I was tired and when I wake I would have a better title. This made a great loss of good and intelligent-sounding “articles” that I could have been put down for the whole world to see, LOL, but it’s alright.

 

Mense, decisiveness is one most powerful and wilful act there ever could be. Sad when one cannot reach a final decision. We always think we have, but when we begin to wonder about it, start with the “what if’s”, we should be aware that that’s the exact moment of doubt. However if we can be strong enough to make one decision and one decision only, without wondering about the “what if’s“, then big ups. Except none of us can. Decision is one tricky thing to do, there’s either a good or a bad one. Make a good one and live life wondering how it would have felt to have made the bad one... same thing when it’s the other way around.

 

Maybe it’s in our nature, these ‘human being’ creatures are unfortunately never always satisfied, I included of course. Although I’m practicing a No-Regret lifestyle, so far so good. I take whatever comes my way as is and change it when and if I want to, then I learn to deal with it, without pondering on how it would feel  like to have made it differently... like the rules I almost always break ;).

 

Anyway, enough with breaking the rules for the day... that’s my decision today. Sticking to it.

Gosh I missed writing. #GodBless