“WHAT IS LOVE, TO YOU?”

#HandsIntertwined

“WHAT IS LOVE, TO YOU?”

He said to me “I love you”...

And I smiled and said to him “I love you right back”...

I remember this slightly misty as I was drugged by some flu medication (I was completely out of it)...

But vivid in a sense that I’m able to write about it now, contently so (two days later)...

It was a Sunday evening drive from his place to mine;

Lightly cloudy, far away stars and a quarter moon showing off;

Hands intertwined, and his soft sweet kisses floating around them;

Beautiful music playing but I can barely remember what it was

However I remember him sluggishly singing along to it #Amazing

A few minutes after our “love you-love you” interchange I started dosing off.

With our hands still together I felt his lips pressing against my wrist with sweet kisses, Again;

This woke me a little and I automatically smiled but could hardly open my eyes..

(Oncoming traffic and street lights seemed rather painfully bright to my eyes).

Then I heard his voice in the darkness of my closed eyes;

In my dazed drugged up mind, it sounded like he asked: “What is Love, to you?”

I thought I was dreaming #LOL... Yet I felt completely compelled to answer this

Because in the many times he had asked me this before,

I was weirdly “Hearing” him for the first time (even though I thought it was a dream)

The words in his question dazzled and danced their way through different parts of me

I say this because seconds later I literally had Goosebumps from head to toe

And an immense persistence to truthfully and carefully manage an honest response

However, drugged as I felt, I uttered out five broad nouns to define “this” Love

Which I wholeheartedly hoped he would understand just how I actually meant them

With my eyes still closed, this is what I remember managing to say,

Feeling entirely peaceful and happy even, I said:

“Love is Freedom

Love is Satisfaction

Love is Pleasure

Love is Joy

Love is Peace”

Then the rest of my response faded in my mouth, in my mind and in my heart

Yet the tip of my tongue continued mumbling tangled words of expressions that even I had no idea what I was trying to say

Sadly I doubt he understood my meaning of this (my audible enough response),

Because he obviously couldn’t clearly hear me,

However he pardoned me and I had to say it again with my eyes slightly open

He slowly nodded thoughtfully, yet I still doubt he understood me...

I feel I was concise but not precise enough.

Following his nod I squeezed his hand, smiled and slumbered back into a drugged mode.

His words still floating in my head,

My response floating along yet in a form of lively images of rainbows, sun shines and sunsets, moonlights, roses and stars... 
#LOL (And this here I’m certain was a dream – seemed like hours but I’m sure it was only a few seconds) 

#LateNightDrives

 **Alright this shall be part of a chapter of my novel J#ONEDAY #WHENIFINISH_IT #DEFINITELY

So now I’m adding five more, which evidently faded in my answering him

But echoed right through me to this moment...:

“... Love is Support

Love is Happiness

Love is Simplicity

Love is Neutral

Love is a Choice”

My next post will thoroughly be about precise definitions to these “Love Statements”

And I have a feeling it will be interesting... Stay tuned!!

But even if you don’t I’ll share the link anyway!!!

#ThanksForReading

“I love you”

This phrase I have heard thousands of times.

Heard as the sound of my own voice, declaring my emotions;

Heard it from so many different people

In so many different occasions

For thousands of different reasons

At times these are directed to me, other times to people I know

Or as a re-enactment on TV or the Radio

The simplicity of saying the words, 3 seconds or less it must be.

Unless of course dragged and hesitantly said, otherwise it is 3 seconds on average..

Yet the courage and depth of putting actual meaning to them,

Is what produces the effect it has on people..

Different meanings for different individuals.

They create some sense of expectancy from another.

I personally think these 3 words are both scary and pleasing..

Scary especially when said as some form of a Key to a particular relationship.

Going from fancy to like, from like to strong like J, and then Love.

Seems that Love tops them all, it is the greatest feeling beyond all positive feelings..

When truly meant, it is an all rounder of Joy, Care, Happiness, Faith, Hope...; well you catch the drift

All those amazing lovely emotions

But why is Love made to feel so heavy, to be so deep??

Don’t get me wrong though, I love Love

But I feel that it carries so much meaning that it automatically reflects as being both literally and intellectually heavy.

It’ll toss and turn you up from your sleep

It’ll knot the insides of your tummy

It’ll weaken your knees and give you palpitations at the sight of a certain person

It’ll exaggerate your care

Make you question your sanity because a certain person is all you can think about, worry about and feel that they are all you need

Its scary man, or maybe we're just fooled.. lol

Or is it us the “Lovers/the ones who love” that deepens it so much unnecessarily?

I completely melt when I hear the words “I love you” directed at me..

Makes me feel insanely special, makes me feel like I’m on a pedestal of roses and stars #hides

Especially when I feel its meaning hit my heart.

Be it from my folks, my sisters, friends or that one special person that I had probably been anticipating it from J.

And I don’t just say the words; I mean them all the time when I say them..

But I fear saying them a lot, because most people in most cases feel like it puts them on a spot,

A spot of remaining pure as they feel that’s all I love... But no!

I don’t want that, I fully understand our abilities as humans hence I do not put any expectations on anyone or anything I declare my love to.

Should I tell you I love you, simply know this:

I love with all my might, unconditionally so, completely knowing and accepting the freedom of making mistakes, hence I take our daily wake to right those mistakes. My love is simple!

I love you with your past, because it is that which I’m grateful to, for making you who you are this day – Lovable. 

I love enough to forgive in advance and believe you care enough to acknowledge and apologize. Simple!

When I love, I love the heart that I have come to learn and know.

All I know for now, I love enough to take it with all that it may come with, in the future.

The future that I may only be hopeful for, because for all I know, we may only have today.

Hence it is today I want you to know that I truly care for your lovely heart..

So much so that I willingly give you mine to do as you may with it, simple!

I can only hope and have enough faith that you will care for it just as I care for yours,

Can only hope for the prolonged respect and loyalty.

But do not on any given day/moment get this twisted, this hope I speak of is NOT an expectation at all!!!

Love is still scary though, I am however, with every second I spend talking to or being with you, working on shedding this fear... I mean one can only be afraid for so long.

...to be continued...

Alright with all of this said ‘for now’, I must declare my love for writing...

The therapy is gives me is unbelievable

I missed this!!!

THIS LOVE...

What kind of love is this?

Love so strong.

Love so strong it expels the mind from the brain.
Emotions that compel the true sanity out an innocent being.
Love that temporarily blinds even the widest eyes, “temporary” being the longest while.

This is Dangerous love!

How does one express such, verbally so... in words alone and nothing more?
How does one show it without being seen as stupid or naive?
This love so clear it needs not more time to understand what it is.
Where it comes from one may never know, but it is here... Right now.
Poisonous is what it is.

Love so Evidently and Psychologically Messy.

Like a dark cloud that hangs over ones’ head and strikes a deafening thunder or blinding lightning every now and then.

Constantly wakes one up from countless sleeps.
Leads an unconscious state to the loveliest paradise if there is such a place.

If none of all these make sense, then I am most certainly poisoned. I’m in danger.

Danger from the choices made by my heart, neglected and ignored at first but eventually lost in its existence.

Love. Love? Love! Sucks but it’s said to be wonderful.

For limited moments it feels amazing, until it locks one up to play victim of a heart in pain.

Restless nights tossing and turning... busy-minded-days trying to figure out how this came about.
Oh no it is never planned. And when one feels this, there’s no turning back.
You become enslaved to your own emotions.
Too proud to put in detail what is felt, this is the rightfully wrong kind of love.

Is there ever a way out? A safe route away from such a trap...

Oh yes, Love is a trap. A DOME of no colour nor sound.

Created without warning.
Attacks with no manual of dealing with it.
No easy way out!

What kind of love is this?

Love so strong.

Love so strong it expels the mind from the brain.
Emotions that compel the true sanity out an innocent being.
Love that temporarily blinds even the widest eyes, “temporary” being the longest while.

This is Dangerous love

The love I find myself muddled in.

Cogitating to find solution only to find confusion...
And migraine, Lol.

Keeping myself intact, thinking I have it under control. LYING TO MYSELF

Arg, This Love though...

The Feeling!!

This feeling I get, when I feel like I'm feeling what I have always felt the need to feel, so muddled yet so free at it... not easily explained yet so simply defined within me. This is the feeling I felt this very morning when I opened my eyes and I knew "I am where i want to be, literaly this minute, with who i want to be with!". you know when you have been induldged in a certain involvement with certain people, and you try imagining how and where you would be without them at that particular moment, when nothing comes to mind then you should know for sure that for that period, at that point, that's where you belong!!

Alright, maybe the lines above makes my point uneasy to get. What I'm trying to put out to you is this, when you find yourself randomly smiling at some inner hard-to-explain emotions, then you should know that's a breeze of a Blessing passing through you, grab it and hold on for as long as it makes you smile. Not everything goes according to plan all the time, that's why breaking the rules feels exciting at times. It brings some life into a person, this utmost igniting fear that makes the blood rush, leaves one wondering "Did I just do that? " "Geez that aint right" , yet you do it anyways because it feels right... The biggest achievement from breaking rules is not regreting it later on but feeling good about it.

This probably sounds like the worst advice ever... maybe it is. but hey, I come across a lot of people saying "You Only Live Once" , I say "You Only Die Once" so make the most out of each day you get blessed with, because life is mostly made short by the choices we make, always trying to be good and doing the right thing... forcing everything to go according to plan. Well I don't plan, I go with the flow. I love everyone in my life because they help me discover me, in every aspect. Most of all I love the one I woke up next to this very day, for when I did I felt that feeling I had always felt the need to feel.

Right this minute, I am breaking a rule, and it feels Awesome!!